Up To The Minute: Not at work?

Itinerant is not at work!

To celebrate we're out enjoying the weather and having delicious hot chocolate!

UPDATE: This little gem of a store is now a must for anyone coming to visit us! Not only was it the best hot chocolate I've ever had (and it was spicy!), it was also, hands down, the best pain au chocolate of my life.

Japan Takes It To A New Level!

Some of you may know my love of Japanese Game shows. I wish that North American Game Shows could come even marginally close to this sort of entertainment value.

I have to say, I never saw this coming (and probably the guy in the video wished that he couldn't see it coming). [update: Shoot! It's already been taken down from copyright laws. I found this less good laugh riot instead



'
And then when you think it couldn't get funnier...

One Twisted Bachelor Party

Two of Giraffe's oldest friends were in charge of the bachelor party. The results were unexpected, unusual, and epic!

They first organized a return to childhood outing for everyone at the local Y. We had a gym rented for us and we had the opportunity to play dodgeball, tag, and hoops. Of course the last game we were playing resulted in Giraffe landing on the best man's foot and turning over his ankle resulting in a mild sprain!! We all feared for our lives as we left the gym. We all knew of Rawr Hot's wrath!

Luckily the sprain seemed to be a mild one. There was swelling, but Giraffe's spirits were high. Walking gingerly, we headed back to the rest of the party.

Waiting for us in the next portion of the evening was something far more intense than anything even I could come up with!! Giraffe's friends had constructed a board game based on him, starring variants of him, and played by all of us!

My inner geek bowed with respect to this gargantuan feat! We gathered 'round and watched a video that the two friends had made (and starred in) and buckled our seat belts for the ride ahead!

A view of the game board.

There was a laminated game board, hand made versions of Giraffe, (I took the Giraffe variant!) and roughly 300 questions from several categories! The game was very elaborate. There were aspects of Trivial Pursuit and Scene It that were immediately apparent. Little did we know that just about every game we'd ever played would make an appearance! The first was in impromptu game of Twister!

Dr. Fantastic photographs the fun.

It started out with so many bodies!

Dr. Fantastic took the opportunity to get artsy.

My vein-y arm waiting to move.

A forest of unmarried men participated...

Soon they were dropping like flies!

I had a distinct advantage by going under the others.

Things started becoming precarious about the 4 round.

I pulled out my crab walk stance early in the night... a gesture of threat for later!

The game board gets packed!

I hung out in the corner while they fought it out.

Soon there were only two of us! We called it a truce!

After a good long while we called it a truce as neither of us was willing to concede, and the other people watching us Twist together were obviously losing interest. The game had to continue!!

Truth be told, this was the only part of the game I had thus far been any good at! Using a 30 sided die, I had rolled a 1 an then a 2 and then a 1... Everyone was leaving me in their dust while I laboured along the board! I wanted to keep playing Twister to feel like I was a winner. (Some of you may know I love losing!).

Another shot of the game board and question cards.

This game had everything! There were even aspects of Magic the gathering: You could acquire weapons and mug other players for money or cards. Did I mention there was also Monopoly money with Giraffe printed on all of them? Seriously, every game you've ever played was represented here!

The game even had childhood themed nutrition: candy bars!

Soon another game made an appearance with an unusual twist! Hungry Hungry Hippo was to be played, only in real life! Each player would have to gather as many marbles as he could with an oven mitt because, let's face it, gathering marbles with your mouth would be a) gross and b) likely lead to lost teeth the day before the wedding.

Placing the marbles in the center.

Giraffe gets ready to school the competition!

The cousin takes an unexpected lead!

Marbles flew everywhere!

Giraffe was determined to win! He nearly took out his own fahzha!

And remember how each of the people playing got to be a different variant of the groom? Well Dr. Fantastic managed to secure the legendary piece that was... well... basically it was an erection. (see picture.)

Zoom in for a closer look at the card!

Of course, Operation made an appearance as well! Giraffe and his dad had a dextrous manipulation contest to see who could remove the most organs from the patient within something like 10 seconds. They were surprisingly good!

Giraffe goes right for the heart! Awwww.

And then the crab walk!! I don't think I can rightly describe how excited I was to have the opportunity to school everyone in my skillful crustacean imitating abilities. The race began and I was off like a shot! Early on people commented on my legendary skills!

No, this wasn't like rolling that accursed 30 sided die! This was more like the gym portion of the evening, and I was out for blood!

The winner is second from the left!

It turns out the blood I was after was my own, which is less impressive. I barrelled along at a dangerous and reckless pace. So fast was my crab racing that I tore the skin off of my hand and bruised the bottom of my palm. It turns out that I have a lot more weight to manage than when I was little!

My competition confused fish with crab - just like sushi restaurants!

From there we played (and I won - by my count) an interesting and disturbing game. The title? Why that would be pussy or meat? Shockingly I did very well at this. I guess eating neither helps... ba doom doom!

Well I'm not sure, that looks like a special flower... but...no it's beefsteak.

And so the game continued, until dissent was heard. The rest of the night was at the strippers, and as Itinerant can tell you, they don't allow cameras there.

I tried to treat it as an educational experience - you know, to study up on my pussy or meat skills - but I don't think I was a very good sport. *sigh*

Oh well, everyone else seemed to have fun buying Giraffe lap dances! Though we're not really sure if he used them... it's not every lap dance that reveals that your dancer is a fifth year language major...

Prepping the Groomsmen

Just some quick shots of the boys getting ready:

Giraffe hugs his mom-lady before heading to the church.

Attaching Giraffe's boutonniere.

Best man hams it up!

Another groomsman is gussied up.

Best Man gets some much deserved attention from Mama Giraffe.

Luckily Mama Giraffe was there to make sure I was dressed properly too!

And of course Mama Giraffe needed her corsage attached as well!

Behold! My Height is Greater Than Yours!

When in a wedding party of men that are all over six feet tall, one tends to find themselves feeling a little on the short side when one is one a good day reaching the 5'10" barrier. To compensate for my obvious shortcomings, Giraffe's parents thought it appropriate to lend me a hat that they had been keeping in storage.

The result: Insecurity win!

Now who looks inadequate?

Here They Come, The Boys In the Bright White... Sports? Limo/Van?

The boys arrived first... naturally. We emerged to find that the church was still full and people were just starting to come out from "the other wedding" that preceded ours.

Emerging from the Limo: Orange glasses on!

Well we know how to be on time! (even though we were technically later than we wanted to be). We decided to approach the church to send a message to the "other wedding".

The cool boys walk.

During our approach several of the "other wedding" attendees commented on how good we looked. That's right, "other wedding" we just out-dressed you! [With scary voice meant for herding animals] Now go on, get outta here!

Interesting back story: the best man in the "other wedding", like all the bridal party was late. When they finally showed up they were going through their preliminary checklist and came to discover that he had forgotten the rings!! Can you imagine!? Evidently, the priest was going to have to bless two plastic rings that came with the bouquets if they couldn't figure it out. The best man took off and arrived back just as they were about to bless the ring! SO stressful!

I wonder if best men can lose the job based on referrals? "Sorry Kevin, I know we've been through a lot, and you're by far my closest and dearest friend, but I just have to be honest with myself. After you nearly ruined Jerry's wedding, I just can't trust you to be anything but the 4th Groomsmen..."

The Ceremony

I have no snappy commentary for this portion of the day. Anyway, we just want to see some of the photos for the ceremony don't we?

The church of destiny!

Seating Rawr Hot's mom-lady.

The boys waiting for the girls.

Giraffe's sister.

My bridesmaid (yes, they actually gave her to me!)(not really.)(really!)

TABS in all her glory.

During rehearsal I teased TABS about how her eyes glazed over and her face steeled under the intense concentration of having to walk so slowly down the aisle. I was happy to see that she showed some emotion on this day.

Maid of honour.

Rawr Hot and her father.

Giraffe waiting patiently at the front.

From the photos you can't see it, but Giraffe's nerves were causing his upper lip to twitch non-stop. As soon at Rawr Hot was about to enter it started into a frenzy! It was great to see it up close.

Mr. and Mrs. Giraffe!

Hurray for love!

TABS has been watching Top Model I think, she knows where the camera is...

My bridesmaid was hard to wrangle! It's like she wanted to do her own thing!

And from there we all rushed into the limo to begin taking the wedding photos!

Return to the Merch?!

Some thought it would never happen again. Some swore it wouldn't.

But on this fateful weekend of love, Itinerant returned to the Merch.

While the wedding party was out and about taking photos, the gang took off to the Merch for a post wedding cocktail.

Cocktails!! I think the bill was only a couple hundred this time...

About to embark on a mission to reunite Itinerant and the Merch.

Fireman's pants?

Taskmaster shows off her yoga skills by drinking while in chair pose.

But the stay was brief. Soon the mess hall called to them and they raced to the reception! Also it was important to get their before the alcohol entered their bloodstream. If you're going to drink you have to drive right away!

Not the mess hall, but a nice building nonetheless.

Fiduciary!

Jumping for Love!

While Giraffe and Rawr Hot took approximately 1 million photos with their family, our little family got together on the Kingston waterfront to take our own photos. Of course, this involved jumping photos.

Such a beautiful backdrop! It needs jumping bodies!

We had trouble with timing...

I tried calling out when to jump and they still couldn't get it!

Slowpitch decides to riff about rapper lawyers. Itinerant looses it.

Fiduciary!

A brief discussion on timing later...we attempt again.

Itinerant slays me in this one. The bum-out is so awesome.

Dr. Fantastic nails it... and then calls it a day.

A smaller group was left to finish the job.

The best of our efforts.

I enjoy that it looks like Itinerant is panicking about copping a feel here.

My solo attempt. Too bad the windmills didn't show better.

Another Happy Couple.

After touring about before the reception, Itinerant and the crew eventually arrived. He meandered on inside, while I finished partaking in the group photos.

Handsome devil!

Plush red carpets add class.

After repeated requests: a tap routine.

Another Happy Couple.

The one time in my life that I will out dress Itinerant.

Show us your Teet(h)s!

During supper, a workshop was held at one of the guest tables. The goal was to better realize your toothy smile.

Slowpitch and Dr. Fantastic educated the masses that at a wedding it is important to show your teeth - all of them. That way people know just how happy you were to be a part of all of the joyful celebrations. The goal then is to measure your happiness quotient as indexed by tooth count. Seen below, although Slowpitch is showing more teeth she also looks to be in a little bit of pain. This is something you want to avoid. Happiness is not painful - don't make it look that way.

Slowpitch forgets to smise while grinning.

Smising, in case you didn't know, is smiling with your eyes. Itinerant demonstrates it (kind of) below.

Itinerant proves to be q quick study.

He passes off what he knows to his table-mates.

Dr. Fantastic revels in his mastery of the tooth-ed grin.

Terrifyingly beautiful.

The Supper Hour.

There's not much I can say about these photos as I was otherwise occupied being important at the head table. As I was being important I was unable to supervise these hooligans and they got into their tomfoolery and shenanigans!

Remember when we went to that dinner and the husband told his wife, "Don't touch me!"?

What do you think we'll be served for supper?

Taskmaster makes a move on Itinerant!

I seethe with rage as I write this!

Itinerant breaks it off when he realized he'd have to "convert" for it to work out.

Good ol' green eyes!

This was likely taken while I droned on at length at the front of the room.

Evidence that one can never trust Dr. Fantastic.

Dr. Fantastic gloats about his nefarious trick.

Slowpitch comes around and realizes she still loves Dr. Fantastic.

And he still remains cake free!

Meanwhile a short while later, we played the infamous shoe game. Good times, good times.

Who knows more random produce codes? Answer: The Bride.

Hats off to a Wonderful Reception!

The reception was held in the mess hall on the RMC campus. There are rules to military mess halls. Specifically, there are no hats to be worn in the mess (in theory). There are also designated parking areas. There are also rules to tinking the glasses (which is to say you may not do it).

Mostly though we should focus on the no hats rule because, let's face it, we looked awesome in our hats. Many people were sad.

If only we could see Men in Hats.

Luckily I didn't hear about the rule, nor did the rest of the wedding party somehow. We wore our hats for the evening, even after repeated death threats.

I have an idea... the idea is hats.

We did it because we didn't want people to be sad.

What were we talking about again? We were onto a new topic already...

Some were shocked when they found out. But lets face it, Giraffe and his crew are nothing if not rebels.

Hats? I think we have some interest here!

Oh please, you guys... rebel?

When Rawr hot found out we were going to wear our hats she just laughed... It's like she knew we'd have to cave

Look at Taskmaster's joy. She still thinks she's getting a hat too.

We were initially greatly disappointed when we first heard the news. Although Taskmaster was clearly excited. I think she thought it meant she could wear the hat herself. Surely they would never allow that! She's a woman!

Dr. Fantastic explained the details of our plan. Rawr Hot didn't seem to be buying it though...

First we're going to have km embarrass himself by wearing a hat everywhere...

So we resolved to no longer wear the hats. I left mine in good company and went back to my duties as MC. I just wish Taskmaster wouldn't have punched me when she took the hat to care for it...

Mwa Ha Ha Ha! The hat is mine!

I also wish she wouldn't have paraded around the reception shouting loudly, "Look at me! I have the wedding hat! Eat it military protocol!"

Well hello there!

Eventually we had to forcibly take the hat from her. From there I left the hat in the care of Itinerant. I knew he would be well behaved and do what was supposed to be done.

Don't worry, I won't tell anyone!

Happy Wedding Photos!

Huzzah!

Sepia adds class: take notes if you will.

And the peasants rejoice!

Superfriends: A wedding story!

Thank goodness TABS shared her wedding photos with me! I was afraid that there was no good picture of just her and me and then she put this one up!

Yay!

I think it's one of my favourite photos from the entire weekend!

Proud members of a wonderful wedding party.

Hanging Out in the Backroom.

For quite some time we made a claim at staking the back room out as our territory. We rolled all the other wedding tuffs who inadvertently stumbled into our hood. It was pretty great to be the boss of our territory like that. We were like the wedding version of the Jets. Of course, we would occasionally allow Giraffe and Rawr Hot to join us.

Happiness! Great shot of these two!

We were back there for so long that Slowpitch and Dr. Fantastic had a fictitious baby. We're not really sure how they pulled that off with us in the room but they did it. I wonder if that's a skill you get from being in a long term relationship - the covert hanky panky. Just remember, just because you can't see it doesn't mean you shouldn't use protection! Learn from their mistake!

It just showed up! What will its name be?

Isn't he/she lovely? We're so proud!

A short while later, Dr. Fantastic became weary of standing. He decided to sit at a table that was clearly meant for standing...

Dr. Fantastic tackles his high falootin' imported beer.

At long last Taskmaster shows us her teet(h)s.

So who's signed the wedding card again?

Of course, we also conspired in the back room to make sure that everyone had signed the gift card for Mr. and Mrs. Giraffe's present.

Maybe their baby will be a midget baby.

Awesome Scale = 100

I think this photo is so good it gets its own post. That's how good I think it is!

Way to be beautiful ladies!

Dance 'til Ya Can't Dance No More!

There was a wedding dance. Little other explanation is needed. Well, except for the part where TABS leads off this series of photos because the photo below rules me. Bask in her funked out goodness!

Kissy faces always translate to: I feel good on the inside!

I believe there is one event where it is appropriate to use the blurred halo filter (or whatever you want to call it). That event would be a wedding. And really, there are rules to using the filter even still. For example you can only use the blurred halo when photographing one or both of the members of the married couple. For the wedding is like a dream. A dream where people waltz...

The happy couple. YAY!

The rest of us quickly swamped the dance floor. It's a little known fact that it's rude to not fill the dance floor after the first dance! In a flight of mania, I danced with someone different every twenty seconds and each time made them go get someone new to dance with. Go! Go! Go!

The white gloves pretty much demand that you make jazz hands while dancing.

It's like they didn't want to dance with anyone else!

Anyway there was a lot of dancing awesomeness, like for example, what we see below.

Really this picture is so awesome it should be in here twice.

Dr. Fantastic loves the spanking.

At a random point during the evening the groomsmen put on a number that we put together for Rawr Hot. Nothing says amazing like a choreographed number to Rick Astley's international love sensation "Never Gonna Give You Up!" Do yourself the favour: go listen to the song and then come back. It's pretty rad and you won't regret it.

Rick Astley's timeless masterpiece surfaces again.

We rehearsed this little routine during the morning while we were getting ready in the morning. I was thankful for the extra time for consolidation. I'm such a slow learner at dance moves!

Never gonna runaway and desert you!

I didn't hold my finishing pose for very long.

Another of the groomsmen then followed up the group number with a Billie Jean Michael Jackson tribute! It was pretty unexpected and jaw dropping!

Now that Michael is dead, is it easier to channel his spirit? Too soon?

Slowpitch points to her posse.

Note the kissy face. Someone feels good inside!

Inappropriate pelvic thrusting? Yes please!

Giraffe's dance with his Momma.

The dance was a great time. We all had a great time, and then suddenly Giraffe and Rawr Hot were making the rounds to say their goodbyes. TABS, meanwhile, just kept on dancing...

Kissy faces always translate to: I feel good on the inside!

The Dance Draws To a Close.

Of course stamina can only take you so far. This is probably particularly the case when you are just married and are desperately waiting to... you know... *achem* Anyway, Rawr Hot and Giraffe only lasted so long, and we can hardly blame them! Also have you noticed weddings are the only place where you can make schtupping jokes and it is completely acceptable? How strange is it that we are encouraged to talk about the sex that these two will be having? I mean, you could devote and entire post to sex that the bride and groom will be having and people would (mostly) think it was normal (mostly).

Starting the 500 hugs that are the price to leave.

So, with another kind of dance to attend, the bride and groom were leaving to their room and the rest of the guests were left behind in their wake.

And they're off!

Several strange things then transpired. Without a bride and groom we weren't sure how to entertain ourselves. Somehow baseball broke out.

I seem to be in the way of the pitch!

Taskmaster contemplated her future as a model

Slowly gathering more articles from others...

Itinerant sang a soft Irish Lullaby to a group of women who were enthralled by his eyes

Actual lullaby may not have occurred.

I had a go at capturing my more debonair side, while Dr. Fantastic showed us his groin (repeatedly).

Dr. Fantastic's little fantastic.

More help from Dr. Fantastic.

Itinerant positions me properly.

Anal accoutrement courtesy Dr. Fantastic.

I care not for the common man.

And finally, Slowpitch hit the veritable wall.

zzzzz, *snort* caramel cornzzzz fiduciary zzzz.

Taskmaster tasks: Master your exhaustion so the party never dies!

Does this look like a man who's ready to turn in for the evening?

Once the wedding shut down, we wanted the night to keep going. Not everyone was on board. Specifically, those with a bent toward law were no longer interested in having fun. We booed them. We cajoled them. We promised not to sue. We offered poutine. Nothing would win them over!

And so, as we lost two of our party TABS, Taskmaster, Dr. Fantastic and I set out to have some more fun in Kingston. We decided that the Tir Nan Og, with its proximity, and proven "fun factor" was a good bet.

Good day to you sir!

There we danced to live music, took turns wearing my hat, and generally enjoyed ourselves for a couple hours more.

Little known fact: Top hats make people happy.

Somehow it escaped us to take photos of me at a bar in a tux... but you know... whatever...

Models for sobriety.

We did, however, manage to meet two sisters of one of the groomsmen. Zany! We do appreciate the random goodness!

Superfriends! Form of LOVE!

We also got in some good dancing. The band covered some unusual choices, including J Timberlake. I enjoyed it immensely as I do all things J Timberlake related.

Is that song I'm enjoying Justin Timberlake?

But eventually this bar had to close and we ready for sleep like we've never been ready for sleep. We turned in and passed out like true champions. A truly amazing day was had by all!

Wedding Epilogue: Too Much Caramel Corn

Following the wedding, Giraffe's parents hosted a brunch at the Radisson for everyone to attend. The mimosas were refreshing and helped some of us with our hang overs. Others amongst us couldn't even stand to look at them. However one and all could appreciate the wonderful view of the Kingston harbour.

Morning mimosa?

Replete with live music!

After finishing brunch with Giraffe and Rawr Hot, TABS and I stayed to help the bride and groom open and take stock of their gifts. Meanwhile the gang left and dragged their exhausted and sorry butts back to Dr. Fantastic and Slowpitch's place. There, they lay about for a while trying to find the energy to leave and head back to the big smoke.

Our group gift: an original piece of art from a Kingston artist!

Upon our leaving, Rawr Hot opened up the door to Giraffe's car and pulled out a bag of caramel popcorn that was part of the left over food from the wedding dance the previous night. It turns out they had ordered a bit too much of the popcorn and it was up the bride and groom to deal with it now. And, of course, when I say a bit too much, I really mean they had enough to fill the back of their car...

Seeing the desperation in her eyes, TABS and I took a giant back off of her hands and wished her and Giraffe well on their honeymoon.

Roughly 1 Taskmaster worth of popcorn.

When we returned to Slowpitch's house, she was very unwelcoming. Caramel corn, it seems, makes her very perturbed! She told us that we must leave immediately and take that horrible bag of sweet temptation with us! Knowing that we had already been saved considerable amounts of hardship by being allowed to occupy the entirety of her living room with our passed out and exhausted bodies. We obliged. Though it pained us to do it.

How we all knew we'd feel if we were to eat the popcorn.

The thought of that much caramel corn was making all of us a little sick, but we piled everyone into the car and prepared to return home anyway. On loading the car, we came to the realization that the right thing to do with this caramel corn was to give it back to Slowpitch - she clearly secretly wanted it all for herself!

We concocted a scheme to have all of us leave the house at once, leaving her behind, and then would come back pretending to have left something in her car from the previous night. We'd grab the keys and ditch the popcorn! Genius! (And funny too!)

We left, circling the block in the car while giggling like idiots. Itinerant was so excited about the idea he was crying.

We circled back and pulled up in front of Slowpitch's house. We backed into a parking spot and I was just about to straighten the front end when suddenly Slowpitch emerged from her house!

We sat in the car like terrified gazelles. The car hummed quietly, half sticking out into the street.

"Nobody move a muscle!" I hissed. We dared not make any motion that could attract her attention.

Slowpitch skipped down the steps with a bag of garbage, suspecting nothing, and walked towards us. She placed her garbage in a can not 20 feet from us.

Somewhere in the distance someone played a trill on a woodblock. Slowpitch wheeled about and headed back in the house never having seen us!

We laughed hysterically about our narrow escape! How could she not have seen us!?

Taskmaster waited a moment more and then exited the car with the caramel corn. She laid it in waiting beside the car and headed in to pretend she had forgotten something in Slowpitch's car.

Slowpitch's dreams are about to come true!

The trap was laid!

Out came Taskmaster and headed to the car. She unlocked the back door and suddenly a human sized bag of popcorn careened over the seat and thudded into the driver's seat.

Taskmaster in action! It's like we were spies!

Again we giggled like the car was filled with nitrous oxide. But our fits of joy were interrupted.

[enter Slowpitch stage right]

The deposit has been made! I repeat, the deposit has been made!

"Hey! Heeyyyyyy!" a cry pierced the silence.

We looked up and saw Slowpitch running down the steps toward us, "Oh no you don't!"

"Get in the car! Drive! Drive!" commanded Taskmaster as she rushed toward us.

I reversed quickly and started pulling out of our spot, gingerly trying to avoid running over our dear friend. In one fluid motion Slowpitch turned, depositing the bag of popcorn on the roof of the car!

"Go! Go! Go!" shouted Itinerant imagining he was once again in a Portuguese hit and run.

I veered left and gunned it. The bag of popcorn tumbled from the roof and rolled to Slowpitch's feet. As we careened off, she shook her fist at us as we rode away to freedom. We reveled in our greatness for several blocks. We could hardly believe how funny we were!

Itinerant then texted her: "You just had a popcorn fail."

Extracurricular Activities!

Of course as we weren't needed at all moments during the wedding, some of us were able to get up to shenanigans! This even, for some, involved picking up some wayward art!

From an artist named Shane.

This art was so big I could hardly fit it the elevator with me!

Tres Exotique!

Heck Yes!

Check it out! Good things are happening down south!

Here's hoping that he continues with his promises of providing equal rights and protections for the GLBT community throughout his tenure.

Mailable "Monday": Taking it to a new level!

Well last week I was supposed to have posted all this goodness that Gnat sent me and I went and misplaced some of it. We had a housewarming and when everything got cleaned up I wasn't sure where I had put everything that came in the package she'd sent! Part of the problem was that there was so much stuff! Let me tell you, I felt very loved!

INCOMING:

Gnat started things off properly with some light humour, sharing some ads that she liked with avocados in them. We'd been discussing the paint choices in the kitchen which as it turns out are rather inspired by avocado. Perhaps this was her take on how it looked?

I have an idea! Send me mail!

And really, avocados have grown to be one of my favourite fruits, so I felt like she really, you know, knew me! I mean really, if I don't have the liberty to feel personally touched by the mail people send me, there's something amiss here isn't there?

The winds of change are coming!

Next was a flier that I presume was included for Itinerant's sake. I'd been talking about how I wanted to get a composting toilet while Gnat was visiting and it proved too much for poor Itinerant. Despite our insistence that composting toilet technology had progressed significantly past the outhouse (which incidentally was invented to prevent the spread of ringworm whose numbers are now so ill represented in the human that some have postulated that is why so many children have allegies... no really!). Well Itinerant would have none of it and frequently turned his nose up at us.

... it's not like I was asking him to keep our feces in the house! Oh... well okay, I guess it kind of is, but seriously, it's not that bad!

Brings new meaning to, "Can you smell what the Rock is cooking?"

Anyway, the real trump card in this mailed gem (as if receiving a flier on compostable toilets isn't delightful enough, because let me tell you it is!) was the inclusion of homemade jams! To quote Tony Robbins, "Yumbo!" Note that this is not a quote of "Yummo!" which is different and annoying. This is likely because it references Rachael Ray, which should never be done - not even at fancy dinner parties where people talk about food, and where they learned to make food, and where they were inspired to make the food that they very well might be eating at that moment... no, not even then should you reference Rachael Ray; in these circumstances it's always best to say that you found the recipe on the back of a Kashii cereal box, and since Kashii is healthy, and people don't question healthy grain cereals with mystical sounding names like Kashii, they would believe you, and importantly, you would avoid having to discuss Rachael Ray. Keep it in mind.

But back to the jams. There were three fiesty jams included. I say fiesty because they were. Doon't believe me? Well first you didn't get to eat them, so how would you know? And second, you're kind of ruining my segue here. I'm trying to discuss how two of these three jams de-lidded themselves in the mail. That's right two of these jams just went ahead and stripped off the "O" ring (take that as you will) while in transit. I have the feeling that there was a lot of illicit jamming in that box! (That's what she said.) Happily the jams were sealed for protection! (yes... it turns out I can keep this going). So although there were jam parts strewn about the box, there was no sticky residue anywhere! Phew!

I may have licked the one of these out...

Of the sundry flavours included in this mix were Lemon Mint, Blackberry Peach, and Blackberry something else. I loved one of them a little too much and polished it off so quickly that Itinerant chastised me. I don't know why; he doesn't eat jam. I think it's just cause he likes to chastise me.

But back to the jams. They are so delicious that I thought I should share how good they are so I waited until this morning to take a photo of the jams in action to share with you all.

Breakfast warrior!

And so yes, if others out there are thinking of sending me things, I'll have you know that the price for fame has gone up considerably! Beware!

I am hesitant to share outgoing mail in light of this as my efforts pale in comparision, but I shall overcome my doubts and share nonetheless!

OUTGOING:

Oh Yukon, land of forgotten sun!

I should be launching no-pet brand cats within the month...

Of course that's not saying that I will launch no-pet brand cats within the month...

Man, can you imagine buying that much pepperoni!?

This is a true story! True story.

Breakfast with Family Guy

So I've been watching old episodes of Family Guy recently while I eat breakfast. I've been enjoying them quite a lot, but this morning's episode had me in hysterics.

I don't think I've seen something quite as funny as Stewie's music video for Susie in well... at least a week.

If you haven't seen it I found this on YouTube: